Rape Culture- Boys will be Boys (really!)

While all news agencies are solely focusing on COVID 19 and news related to it. A major incident happened that though featured in the news, was not really discussed.

Bois Locker Room Incident-

Now what is the incident?

"Bois Locker Room", is an Instagram (social media) account comprising of school going boys in Delhi, India. The group came under the scanner when it was brought to light that, the participants of this group were sharing nudes and other obscene material of their fellow classmates (girls). They were also, making crude comments and talking of raping these girls.

My Take-

When you hear such an incident, your first thoughts are really, come again, am I hearing the right thing? But alas, this is the brutal reality we all have to live with.

India is a country where girls or kanyas are worshipped as an incarnation of Goddess Durga- the deity of strength and source of life on Earth (aadi-shakti). And still, incidences are these are found out frequently. 

According to many psychologists, the problem lies in the patriarchal mindset of people and the way they treat boys to be the flag bearers (descendants) of their family and their name and girls to be a burden which is best disposed off by marrying her. Boys enjoy significant freedom whereas, girls are subjected to live within the four walls of the house. This very upbringing strategy leaves a scar on the minds of youth and they unknowing carry forward this misogynistic attitude and regard womenfolk as degraded beings- 'The Second Sex.'

Certain boys also join groups like these to appear cool. They are either under peer pressure or they live under the mis-guided notion that if they are not a part of such a group, then, they are not cool and hence would be a loner. 

Tendencies to objectify women and treat them as a means of pleasure may have their roots in pornographic films. Now we all know, in the Lockdown, most of us have been spending hours on the internet (working from home) and when such an access was given to young boys they found recourse in porn sites. Porn-hub a leading porn site was found to have given unlimited access to their porn content to help people stay at home. This could be one of the reasons for such a behaviour. 

Even the Films, Television Series and shows online are a source of degrading women by explicitly using sexual innuendos and portraying women as a seductress, whose sole object is to woo her man and please him through her body. The profuse use of Item numbers that showcase women in a demeaning light too add to the list. 

I personally think, that the laxity in enforcing laws that prevent the repetition of sexual crimes too makes the offenders fearless of law and they, go about their business without any fear of being punished. Its often said that "Justice delayed is Justice denied". I agree that there are a lot of pending cases in the Judiciary and with limited number of Judges, the burden of work is major on each. But still it cannot be denied that if offenders were punished brutally and within a time frame then such cases would fall considerably.

Finally, the callous attitude of the masses too is a chief cause of the rise in cases like these. People usually resort to victim shaming and and also in a way eulogise boys by stating that Boys will be Boys and they are bound to do stuff like this.

In the end I would like to remind all that Manu (a mythological character) had stated that God resides there, where Women are respected and treated well. So it not in our scriptures to belittle women but in our own corrupt mindset.

Hope some sense shall prevail after some of you read this blog.

Love,

Pankhuri

Life of a Pet Dog- Sparkles

While most of us have pets, be they cats or dogs or other creatures like birds, what we do not realise is that, they too have a life of their own. This is a story of how Sparkles (a pet dog) goes about in his life, be cautious of the end because it may make you teary eyed.

Mr. and Mrs. Wilkins were a newly married couple who had settled in their new house, after their wedding. At the house warming party that, they held for their close friends, they were surprised to receive a pet dog as a gift. Their happiness knew no bounds, as they welcomed their pet who was now officially their first child, with open arms. As, the dog brought with it smiles and a ray of happiness they named him Sparkles.

Sparkles, was just 2 months old. He really missed his mother, Julie but, he would rarely show it on his face. He was very playful and an attention seeker, he would not miss a chance to be the centre of attraction in the house.

Time passed by and after a year, the Wilkins were blessed with a baby boy, Samuel. Sparkles was delighted to meet his little hooman and play with him. Samuel and Sparkles were like two inseparable forces and they were always together. When Samuel had to go to school, Sparkles would accompany him to the bus-stop and when he returned Sparkles was always waiting by the bus-stop to receive Samuel. Their bond of friendship grew and Sparkles was never treated as an animal but as a family member. He felt blessed to have the companionship of such a loving family.

All was going well for the Wilkins, and Sparkles, well he was on cloud nine as he was the star of the Wilkin Family. Then COVID-19 spread across the world. Those were dark times, people were scared and also scarred for life. All form of information and mis-information were doing rounds on social media and nobody could decipher right from wrong.

At such a time, the Wilkins came across a piece of information which stated that Corona-Virus could spread from animals to humans and pets were considered to be the carriers of this deadly virus. The Wilkins had no idea whether this news was correct or not, but, they did want to take any chances. The Wilkins therefore, decided to shift Sparkles in the garage, he was not allowed to enter the house and all his toys and clothes were shifted to the garage. The garage was the apt place to shift Sparkles as due to the Lockdown, the Wilkins were unable to go out and they were working from home.

Sparkles who until now had been leading a stately life was distraught with the change of affairs. Samuel and Mr and Mrs Wilkins would hardly come to see him and he was spending time alone in the garage. He however, considered it to be a temporary affair and was hopeful to return to the Wilkins' house which he considered home.

But it seems, the good days of Sparkles had come to an end and he was to face a much harsher truth. As, the pandemic spread and took a toll on human lives, people became paranoid. The Wilkins were advised by friends and relatives alike, to maintain distance from Sparkles, as Samuel was small and thus, vulnerable to the disease.

Thus the ominous night came when in-spite of the Lockdown, the Wilkins came to the garage and made Sparkles enter the car. Sparkles thought that his woeful days were over and he was happy to be reunited with the Wilkins. The car started and Sparkles was  ecstatic. He would occasionally take his face out from the moving vehicles' window and try to lick the air.

After about an hour's drive, the car came to an abrupt stop and the Wilkins got out from the car. Sparkles was clueless about his whereabouts and also the darkness of the night was making him shiver in anxiety. He was made to come out of the car, Sparkles thought that, maybe the whole family was camping in this unknown location and was thus vigorously wagging his tail. Mr Wilkins opened the leash and instructed Sparkles to explore the area. Sparkles after living in the confinements of the garage welcomed the independence and began to run about.

It was at this time he was not able to notice that the Wilkins, had already entered their car and were going. He thought that, they had maybe, forgotten him and he began to bark. The car sped off and Sparkles was chasing the car but his speed was no match to the metal monster that the Wilkins were riding in. Sparkles was thus, left behind in the dark night alone in an unknown place.

All this chasing had landed Sparkles into a place where there were other stray dogs. Those stray dogs on seeing Sparkles, an unknown dog, felt threatened and began to chase him off their designated territory. Sparkles was very confused and was not able to proceed how his life had taken a 180 degree turn. He spent the night hiding from the stray dogs in a drain.

When morning came, along came hunger and Sparkles was forced to move out of the drain. As soon as, he came out the leader of the Stray dogs, Hector was looking down at him. Sparkles was ashamed to be judged but, at the moment he was not in the situation to pull off a fight and thus he tucked his tail between his legs, to show allegiance to Hector's leadership. Hector though tough, welcomed him in his gang and introduced him to his lieutenant Marks. Marks was not so welcoming and as soon as, he saw Sparkles he began to tease him about him being an abandoned dog. Mark laughed at the state in which Sparkles was and said that his fidelity was rewarded by the owners and he was set free.

Once Sparkles was inducted in the gang, he was instructed that he was no longer the Prince that he used to be. He would have to share his food and any other conquests with the gang equally and since he was the newest member, he was to be the lowest in the hierarchy of importance. Though, it was all new for Sparkles he still felt welcomed and was grateful to Hector and Marks for helping him to cope in this time of grief.

Sparkles would often remember the Wilkins and get nostalgic, but he had moved on in his life. The gang found that he was an excellent charmer and thus, he could easily persuade the passerby's and the local residents to give some food to the dogs. Sparkles through his ability was able to rise in ranks in the gang and was now no-longer the laughing stock of the gang.

In the end, Sparkles had realised that he had to fend for himself and that grieving would not land him anywhere. He was no longer the cuddly Sparkles that would wag his tail, when his master would return home, from work, but he had evolved into a dog that was able to live a life in this cruel world alone and without the support of others.

Thus, though Sparkles had lost his home and his hoomans, he had had gained the essential life lesson of being self-reliant and independent.

Love,
Pankhuri